My Blog For Therapeutic Anger Management

It's been a couple weeks since I made an emergency trip to Iowa.  It's been a whirlwind.  First and foremost is caring for my nephews.  Life goes on and so does school, checking homework, making nutritional dinners, washing their clothes, driving them to piano lessons, birthday parties, and making sure they get to sleep early enough to start all over again. 

Then there is the dealing with Alfonso's estate, getting a lawyer, getting custody of the kids, and getting rights as executor.  Holy cow, what a mess.  His filing system was to throw everything in a box, junk mail and all.  What I have discovered is not a pretty picture.  Since the death of my sister in February 2010, he has blown through $80,000, not including his yearly (before taxes) salary of $36,000 and $2000 a month social security (tax free).  Now I really understand why my sister was in charge of the finances. She had told me that he would spend all the money if he had free access. Hopefully, his life insurance will pay out because although his death certificate says it was accidental, the cause of death was listed as carbon monoxide poisoning and acute intoxication.  Do insurance companies pay out for acute intoxication, AKA extreme stupidity for shutting a garage door and passing out before shutting off a car? 

Here is a rough accounting of $80,000 all gone in 18 months (not including his salary and social security which is also gone).
1. $16,000 in Moneygrams to various individuals including $3200 to Dominican girlfriend Ana Luisa Lora since July 2011.  Alfonso was planning his 3rd trip in one year to the Dominican this December. He was planning on abandoning his boys for 3 weeks during Christmas to marry the girlfriend WHO the boys never knew existed until the day of his funeral.
2. Traded in the Mercedes plus an additional $6,696 to buy a Lincoln Navigator which he subsequently shipped to the Dominican last June. He was suppose to sell it there and, as far as we know, it is not sold yet. The boys will never see the money.
3. Paid $5000 down on a Cadillac Escalade luxury SUV a year ago (this is a man that makes $14/hr). Cost $500 in registration and $1000/yr for insurance. Still owes $27,000 on Escalade which about what we might be able to sell it for. It is going back to the bank.
4. Alfonso did not file his 2010 taxes correctly. He neglected to include the 1099R form for the early distribution of Lynn's IRA $18,000 that he cashed (money she earned before meeting Alfonso). His estate will have to pay the taxes, penalty and interest which will amount to about $3000.
5. And of all things, Alfonso bought a time share in the Dominican last summer. He put $1755 down, plus $200 for maintenance, plus $100/mo is being auto deducted from his bank. I don't know how we can get any of this returned!!! He has a reservation in December that he paid $527. I've called twice trying to cancel reservation and contract and all they want to know is if I will be taking over the contract. Yeah, right!
6. With Lynn's life insurance of $50,000, Alfonso was suppose to put down 20% on his home. He only put down 10% or about $15,000. Where did the rest of the money go? I am guessing Moneygrams and cars.
7. Alfonso has taken $3600 from Andrew's savings account and $300 from Alex's account. My sister set their savings accounts and he stole from his own children. 

8. After they sold their home in November 2009, my sister had $15,000 from the sale in her account. This went to Alfonso and it is gone.

9. Alfonso received $14,000 tax refund for 2010 taxes. It is gone.
10. Alfonso was never home. Either working or playing ball or out drinking and leaving his children home alone for hours. Andrew did all the housecleaning, laundry, a fair amount of cooking and caring for his brother. Andrew needs glasses, braces, and didn't even have a winter coat. 

The only family member for Alfonso to show up for the funeral was a nephew who lives in New York. I believe the only reason he came was to try to extort money.  During our first meeting with us, he asked us for $14,000 (in addition to the funeral expenses in Iowa) for a big funeral in the Dominican Republic because he was a local hotshot baseball hero (Alfonso played professional baseball for minor leagues in the USA).  He told us that if they didn't get the money, the family, who all live in the Dominican, will sue us for custody of the children. These people wouldn't even know the children if they passed them on the street!  Thank goodness the children's social worker is on our side.  There is no chance the boys are going to the Dominican Republic to live. Or visit. Ever. They are only interested in the children now because they think they can get some money out of it.  Well, they are welcome to come and inspect Alfonso's finances.  The man was up to his ears in debt and broke.

Yes, I am seething with anger. I will get over it, eventually, with the help of therapy.