Tuesday, June 5, 2012

And Jesus Wept

Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them around him he taught:

   "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    Blessed are the meek.
    Blessed are they that mourn.
    Blessed are the merciful.
    Blessed are they who thirst for justice.
    Blessed are you when persecuted.
    Blessed are you when you suffer.
    Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven."

Then Simon Peter said...
   "Do we have to write this down?"

And Andrew said...
   "Are we supposed to know this?"

And James said...
   "Will we have this on a test?"

And Phillip said...
   "I don't have any paper."

And Bartholomew said...
   "Do we have to turn this in?"

And John said...
   "The other disciples didn't have to learn this."

And Matthew said...
   "Can I go to the bathroom?"

And Judas said...
   "What does this have to do with real life?"

Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus's lesson plans and proceeded to inquire of Jesus...
   "Where is your anticipatory set and your behavioral objectives in the cognitive domain and what allowances have you made for intervention?"

And Jesus wept.

Rita's disclaimer: I did not write this. I found it today in my files of teaching stuff.  Anyone who has ever taught will appreciate this.  

OPD Is A Very Serious Disorder

OPD.  Never heard of it?  I assure you it is very real, very serious, and there isn't a medicine or therapy known to man to counteract its effects.  Some of the symptoms include twisting the truth, downright lying, sniping at waitresses, clerks in stores, any and all family members, name calling, manic cleaning sprees while berating everyone within and not within ear reach, invasion of privacy, opening doors without knocking, unlocking doors  and entering private bedrooms or bathrooms whether you are or not are doing your 3 S's (sleeping, showering, shitting), being the ultimate control freak, center of attention, having total disregard of opinions or feelings of others because theirs is the only one that matters.

What can you do if you know someone like this?  I wish I could tell you that ignoring it will make them go away.  It only makes the person with Obnoxious Personality Disorder determined to be more of a PIB (Pain In The Butt, another psychological disorder).  Sorry.  I wish I had better news for you.  And for me.