Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter Traditions

I was reminded that it is Easter when last night I turned on the television and ABC was running the Cecil B DeMille epic movie "The Ten Commandments".  Traditionally it was always shown on a Sunday night.  I know that for a fact because my son Eric would always watch it every year staying up way past his school night bedtime and I allowed it. Wouldn't I be a horrible mother if I didn't let my son watch Moses help free his people from the evil Pharaoh Ramses?  The cynic in me would normally think the son was just trying to stay up past his bedtime, but the boy did stay glued to the tube to watch the movie to the end... year after year.  So it shall be written, so it shall be down.

Niece and nephews on an Easter egg hunt in Iowa today
Speaking of Easter traditions, our traditions in Iowa included coloring hard boiled eggs and then eating deviled eggs and potato salad  for the next week.  We always used crayons to decorate before coloring.  I did this with my 5th grade students on the last day of school before our vacation.  When I polled the students, only about 3 out of 27 had ever colored eggs. And of those 3 they had never heard of using crayons to decorate before dipping in the dye.  I may have started a new tradition with my students because they had a blast and many asked where I got the supplies.  Walmart, of course. And an Easter in Iowa would not be complete without getting a chocolate bunny.  I always felt sorry for the poor bunny as I started nibbling off its ears and butt.  Apparently, not too sorry as the bunny was always a goner by the end of the day.

One of the gazillion roadside stands selling Easter stuff in Tex-Mex Land.
Traditions down here in the Tex-Mex area are different.  Why color Easter eggs when you can buy them by the dozens on the roadside about every 10 feet?  Except the eggs are not hardboiled.  They are emptied and filled with confetti.  The first year I was here I went home with a headache after my students found out I had never had a confetti egg cracked over my head. The kids smelled "fresh meat" and I had about a 1000 cracked over my head that day. As many confetti eggs I've seen for sale this past week, I imagine the confetti will be littering the countryside until the 4th of July. Also, Easter bunny piñatas are big here.  I have never been to an Easter party here but I imagine they beat the poor paper-mache bunny to death so the kids can collide while grabbing the candy that falls out of the bunny's butt.  Does it seem strange to anyone to string up the Easter bunny and then beat it to death with a stick?  Or Dora, the Explorer, a Superhero or a princess that so many piñatas are modeled after?  Seems rather sadistic to me. I guess one could argue that eating cute chocolate bunnies is sadistic too.

Excuse me while I go eat my bunny.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

Ice Cream and Bacon Sundae

The latest menu item at Dennys is an ice cream and bacon sundae with maple syrup.  It must be delicious, I guess.

Best Pickup Line Ever

Best pickup line ever... "Would you like to come back to my place? I've got clean sheets."

Yes, I personally heard it.  No, it wasn't directed at me.  But, (snicker, snicker) that line was sooo memorable.  My friend Linda, a teacher from Canada living in Reynosa, and I went to a bar in Texas one night.  We met a couple retired gentlemen.  A few days later we went out for pizza. All was going well until the end of the evening when Linda's date actually dropped that line on her. Needless to say, we hightailed it back to Reynosa where I seriously doubt any retired, single gentleman could ever offer Linda clean sheets. I drank a beer with Linda a few days ago and we reminisced about that evening. I still don't understand why she turned that offer down. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Parlez vous francais?

For about a month I've seen several motor homes and travel trailers all with Quebec license plates rolling up to the border of Texas from Mexico. Sometimes they travel in caravans. Sometimes solo. Apparently the Québécoise never received the travel warnings about Mexico like the Americans did. The Americans are staying away in droves. Hardly any are even willing to cross over into Progreso, the touristy little village on the border with a pharmacy and dentist every two feet.   Perhaps the travel warnings about Mexico are over zealous? Perhaps the Mexican road patrol trolls could not care less about the French Canadians just like the rest of the world?  Or maybe the Mexicans won't bother with them because of their direct rudeness and arrogant demeanor  spoken in a warped version of the French language?  I vote for reason #3.  Therefore, I am going to try responding with very bad French every morning the Mexican soldiers stop me as they have done every single morning this week. Maybe they will usher me away faster so I will not be late for work.

Signed Rita (Au Contraire) Gervais