Friday, March 16, 2012

When Did I Become A Fuddy-Duddy?

I've ranted about women who tattoo on their eyebrows so in the interest of fair play I shall ask what's up with the guys that stretch out their ear lobes?  I took the older nephew shopping tonight at Old Navy and was greeted by the sight of the manager with 2 inch holes in his ears. I had an overpowering desire to hook up my dog's leash to one of his ears and take him for a walk.

Then I saw these brand new ripped up jeans on sale for $29.99.  Seriously?  They look ready for the rag pile.

And then I remembered an incident back in the 1970's when jeans were only sold with the crispiness of dark blue. My mother bought me a pair of blue jean overalls which were the rage that year. The first thing I did was pulled the hem out of the bottom so they would drag on the ground. Then I washed them with a gallon of bleach. I went to the local drug store and bought 2 patches in the form of an American flag and a peace sign . I sewed them on the butt area. Finally, I walked up and down the sidewalk to scruff up the bell bottoms. About a week later I came home from school and walked into the kitchen. Mom was eyeballing me and finally asked  where I had gotten the overalls I was wearing. 

"These are the new ones you bought me last week. Aren't they cool?" I replied.

"I spent good money and you ruined them!" she cried.

I used to be hip, cool and with it. At some point I've become a fuddy-duddy turning my nose up at tattooed eyebrows, stretched out ear lobes, and brand new ripped up jeans.  But I would pay good money to get back my cool, bleached out, patched up, hem ripped overalls. 




8 comments:

  1. The ear gauge things are shit we only used to see in the National Geographic magazine when we were kids though, and that's why it's weird. Well, that and the fact that you're putting a huge fucking hole in your ear.

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    1. So that's what they are called. Kind of like railroad gauge except it goes in circles.

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  2. We're getting old, Rita, we're getting old. I guess we have to give the youth a pass, but I'm easier on clothing than body modification. I'd gotten used to old WW2 vets with wrinkly, droopy hula girls on their arms. Some day we'll get to see saggy ear lobes on the next generation of geriatrics. Spare me.

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    1. Reminds me of a song... "Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your ears hang low?"

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  3. I don't get the whole stretching your ear lobes and wearing studs in your face. I've recently been complaining about how my son has holes in his jeans.... on a recent trip to Old Navy I found out this is quite the style. Guess I'll keep the holey jeans afterall.

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    1. I want my old bleached overalls with patches on the butt and ripped hem back. I was at the height of coolness... and geekdom.

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  4. Well it basically a trend, a fad, and something that people should think about hard before doing it. Cause it is permanent unless fixed surgically. And honestly the argument that it will look terrible when you get old is kind of a stupid argument because I don't plan to look like america's next top model. I'd much rather have an interesting story to tell my grandchildren. So really you think you'll look amazing at 65? And you may not like but if you accept it you're children will be much happy and less likely to get more.

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    1. Jesus, Mary, your comment sounds like a frickin' lecture from my mother. You're right. It is a trend, a fad, and something people should think about before doing it. I modified a pair of jeans, not my body. Mutilating ear lobes will look stupid when they get old. In fact, it looks stupid when they are young. But that's just MY opinion. In fact, my entire blog is about MY opinion. I am sure they think they look cool. And where did you get the idea that I thought I would look amazing at 65? I am sure I will, but I don't think I've ever written that before. As far as my children go, they are amazing. And so far they have avoided the tattoo and stretch the ear lobe thing. But if they do, I still will think they are amazing.

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