Monday, July 2, 2012

Don't Mess With Fred

Recently I wrote about a boy named Jamie that I beat up when I was about 6 years old.  I wouldn't try messing with his old man.  My aunt, who still lives in Swisher, told me that someone tried to rob the grocery store that Fred, about 80 years of age, has owned and operated since before my memory begins. This is the same grocery store where my grandma would send me with a dollar to buy a pack of cigarettes.  Oh, boy, am I dating myself now. A pack of cigarettes under a $1 bought by a kid?  Well, back then if I tried to smoke one, the neighborhood alarm system would have gone off (aka a telephone call to grandma by anyone who might have seen me) and I would have been busted. Anyway, my aunt said the would-be robber drove up in a truck, filled a bag of groceries, and then held up a sign that basically said "Give me all your money". That's when the ballsy Fred told him no because he worked too hard for his money. The robber then said he would kill Fred.

What would you do?  Me, the chicken-shit, would probably hand over the entire cash register and my purse too and tell the robber to have a nice day. But not Fred. Fred went after the robber who, by all guesstimates, is about 60 years younger, and pushed him out the door with his fist. It didn't do Fred's fist much good because it is all swollen up, but the guy ran and took off in his truck. And Fred got his plates too.

Here's a look at the Facebook page of the robber Austin Lee Strub
(He is not from Belfast and most of his friends are from Cedar Rapids)

So what did we learn from this?  #1 - If you are going to rob a small town grocery store, don't use your own truck. #2 - If you are going to rob a small town grocery store, drive on by Swisher. The owner of the store is  too tough to mess with.


  1. OMG Rita - that is too funny, I mean, not the robbery part...YOu know what I mean! Go Fred! I'm like you, I would have handed the entire register over and begged them to just leave.... well, that's what I think. I have no idea.

    Go Fred Go!

    Oh, and I remember buying cigarettes for my Mom when I was younger... Can't remember the cost, but they are now $12/pack in Calgary, Alberta where I'm from...

  2. I'm not sure, but I think a pack of cigarettes here is about $7, more than enough to make quit if I smoked. But, holy smokes, $12 a pack? Yes, Fred is awesome.