Monday, March 21, 2011

Mexican Balls

As of lately I don't normally disrupt my peaceful weekends by going to Reynos-hell, but I do have several friends there and I do like to see them sometimes. So that is how I found myself on the Pharr bridge today coming back to Texas. I hate to cross on Sundays because the traffic is worse on weekends. As I am sitting in line for an hour with my window down, the man one lane over started a conversation with me.  He appeared kind of cute so I let the conversation inch on as our cars slowly rolled to the checkpoint. The conversation was abruptly terminated when his lane was coned and I passed on through. (Gee, it seems like it is usually me that gets stuck in the coned lane).  About a mile down the road, I stopped for gas and bathroom break.  When I returned to my truck, I found this man waiting by my truck.  Wow!  He followed me. Should I have been creeped out or impressed?  Well, here is my initial breakdown:

1. His name is Victor, an electro-mechanical engineer from Rio Bravo.  Good, so far, because he has an education. And, hopefully, a job too.
2. He is driving a decent car with Mexican plates and has a visa to enter the United States.
3. Speaks some English although I think my Spanish is better.
4. He is kind of cute.
5. He told me I am pretty.

After introductions and getting to know basic facts, he invited me to go somewhere to talk.  I told him there is a place called Cafe Junction in the center of Pharr and we agreed to meet there.  At the cafe, he confesses that he is married, but has no children.  Should he get any points for being honest?  I told him there is no point in going farther because I was not interested in anyone who is married.  He actually had the nerve to ask if it was that big of a deal??

Here comes the big Mexican balls part.  He pinned me against my truck and tried to plant a kiss on me. Eeewww, eewwww eeewwwww!  And the final breakdown:

1. He smelled like smoke.
2. He is married.
3. He tried to stuff his tongue down my throat while pinning me up against the truck.

Victor, since I don't have your phone number and you don't have mine, let's make this public and perfectly clear... I WILL NOT SEE YOU AGAIN.


  1. Some men just disgust me, like Victor. A knee to the groin would have been a fitting parting gift for him. :)

  2. Yuck Yuck and another Yuck!!!
    And I applaud your guts. Way to go!!!!!

  3. Hey Leslie and Amanda, I'm still a bit grossed out by this man's tongue and I don't gross out easily. Even if he was not married, what would make a man think it is OK to do that within minutes of meeting???? YUCK.

  4. I would have got his phone number... with his smooth moves, it deserves a call to the wifey.

    Damn. either that, or a nut shot.

  5. Hey Refried, I am still in shock over the groping. And we were both sober! If I run into him again, which I won't, I'll definitely give him what he deserves.

  6. Oh, you poor thing! What a creep! Maybe he thought you would get turned on by him being married. LOSER!

  7. Note: You can pick-up strange gringas "por el puente" but if you're only "kind of cute" don't mention that you're married. The really classy gringas want you by the balls.

  8. Hahaha - I can't believe it! I mean I can, but seriously.... Some people, eh?!


  9. i agree with Leslie above... Knee to groin was the parting gift he needed!